Opinion of "Tiger Mother"
Chan Ming Hung(66247114)
Yiu Po Yi(92448868)
Mang Wai Chi(69930724)
Chan Hiu Shan(66750363)
Wu Wing Ki(68006817)
Table of Contents
Introduction Page 2
Advantages of Tiger Mother’s styles (By Bowie) Page 3
Advantages of Tiger Mother’s styles (By Jovica) Page 4
Disadvantages of Tiger Mother’s styles(By Kevin) Page 5
Disadvantages of Tiger Mother’s styles (By Zoe) Page 6
Disadvantages of Tiger Mother’s styles (By Rachel) Page 7
Conclusion Page 8
Works Cited Page 9-10
"Tiger Mother" is a new word to describe a mother disciplines her children with though rules. For example, they never allowed them watching TV or playing computer game, get a result lower than grade A. They have to play violin and piano, other instruments are not allowed. It is a common appearance in China nowadays.
In 2011, Miss Amy L. Chua releases a book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother". She creates the word "Tiger Mother" and shares her experiences and methods with "Tiger Mother Style". It has become a controversial topic worldwide. Is it a good method to discipline our children? Somebody said that it is crazy for children and it will hurt them. It is not a method to discipline our children. On the other side, somebody said that though experience can help children handle difficult, failure, pressure easily in the future.
Which one is the best one? Is it good for children?
This paper will show the advantages and disadvantages of "Tiger Mother".
Advantages of Tiger Mother’s styles
By Bowie Yiu Po Yi
Despite the Chinese-Style Family education are tough for children, it is a good method for parenting. Chinese parents always blame their kids whose academic result is not as good as the classmates. Although the words are tough, parents believe this method can push their kids to work hard and get the good result. By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed about how their kids turned out. (Amy Chua pg 3) – Wall street journal
While everyone criticizes tiger mother’s methods are extreme, but the result shows that it is work. Chinese-style parents think childhood is training instead of enjoy. They hope the kids could be brilliant when they are young by using tough educational method. According to the latest OECD survey, it shows the 15-year-olds Chinese kids are at the top of the world’s academic rankings. (Allison Pearson pg 2)
Amy Chua brought up her daughters with an extreme regime that banned TV, drilled academic learning and demanded hours of music practice daily.( Heather Hodson. pg1) "When I was little I was so mad at them all the time. Why can't I do this? Why are there so many rules? But looking back now, my parents gave me the foundation to have so many choices in life. After I left home I had a choice of which I could be a choice of careers, a choice of schools, so I deeply believe in the model." (Heather Hodson.pg 5)
Obviously, the Chinese way of parenting is not only successful for children to become more independent, it also helps children to enhance the resilience. When I finish reading this book, I am surprised that Lulu does not hate Amy's method but is appreciated her.
Advantages of Tiger Mother’s styles
By Jovica Mang Wai Chi
‘All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that." (Allison p.1) This is said by Amy Chua, the author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Nowadays there are many allures to children and could possibly distract them from studying. Tiger mother forcing her child to study or practice different skills could keep them on track.
"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it," she added. (Gail p.4) This revealed her off springs’ studying model – spending half day to practice the music instruments every day. Chua putting a great expectation to her daughters and believing they are both talented and able to make a good use of it, even if they are not believe in them sometimes. She never assumes her daughter would fail in the tasks. This strategy facilitates them to create a belief in themselves, stepping into a higher standard. Furthermore, Chua less protect their daughter when they face any difficulties and failures. This can give them learn not to give up easily.
St. Joseph said that, "our children have been misled by many who shall answer to the Father. As teachers they have failed in their role. Therefore, as parents you must succeed in yours." (Joseph p.1)Although there are many opponents of the teaching model of tiger mother, there are also many children benefit from its effectiveness. Those children do succeed, usually, in helping their offspring reach their success. Their ultimate goal is probably to show their children what they are capable of it.
Based on the above positive views of tiger mother, we can see that this method can really make the educated one become more easily to achieve an excellent result, generate a belief in their mind and be tough in darkness.
Disadvantages of Tiger Mother’s styles
By Kevin Chan Ming Hung
"What's more, Willingham says, "if you repeat the same task again and again, it will eventually become automatic. Your brain will literally change so that you can complete the task without thinking about it.""(Annie Murphy Paul,P.4)
Cleary agreed that she would feel stressed if tiger-parented. "There would be so much pressure and stress to do the right things to such a great extent that you never really get the chance to just relax and live your life enjoyably."(Allison,P19)
Tiger parenting falters in at least two ways. First, it promotes conformity over creativity. The use of authoritarian parenting can lead children to do as they are told. The problem is, what if there's a better way to do something? What if there are newer ideas to consider? What if a variation on Bach's music could be even more delightful? The price of conformity is the loss of creative potential.(Kevin D. Arnold,P5)
Summarize up, the effect of tiger mother are horrible. They are trying to train their children like a robot with a repeating task. They want their children complete the task like application. Some children may feel stressful during the training and the hash requirement. For example, they cannot get a result less than grade A. They cannot have any time to watch TV or play games to relax and enjoy. The teaching method also ignores the creativity and possibility of children. They are not allowed to learn other instrumental except piano and violin.
In my opinion, I think it is not fair to their children. We are human. It is pathetic that living like a robot but be stressful like a human. Living under huge stress with a long time but not allowed to relax. They are not allowed to love, to learn other instrumental. They do not have freedom to love, to learn. I think it is the ideal life of their parents, not their children.
Disadvantage of Tiger Mother’s styles
by Zoe Wu Wing Ki
"You have to be hated sometimes by someone you love . . . and there’s just no letting up, no point where at which it suddenly becomes easy". (Dora Cheok P7)
"Look, it’s not so bad to be a little strict and not give your kids too many choices". (Amy Chua P8) In order to strive for the best from the child, Tiger mother would not quit her parenting styles, and hang on pushed her kids to pursue an academic achievements.
"My kids are often mad at me. But I also know that deep down they know the amount of effort and sacrifice I put in."(Amy Chua P21) Tiger Mother thinks that her daughters may be tolerant of her strict.
In my view, I disagree with the way Tiger Mother has raised her two kids. Tiger Mother always forces her kids to do something against her will even if the kids had hard-feelings of it.
For example, Tiger Mother forbids her kids to learn the musical instrument except violin and piano. In fact, Lulu (Tiger Mother’s second daughter) has already stated that she doesn’t like to learn violin clearly, but Tiger Mother still always force her to practice violin stubbornly. This kind of parenting seems arbitrary and thoughtless. I don’t think that her kids may forbid and forgive her mother sincerely. I am strongly believed that Lulu would not be delighted even though one day she gets an outstanding achievement of violin.
Disadvantage of Tiger Mother’s styles
By Rachel Chan Hiu Shan
The Chinese Parenting can lead to both physically and psychologically damage to their kids. A famous example of tiger mother,. Amy Chua in her book: Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother, tells readers "an A- is a bad grade; ... the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventually win a medal; and ... that medal must be gold"(Dr Gail Saltz, Paragraph 1) No playdates, sleepover, no TV or computer games, no unnecessary extracurricular activities.
Daniel Willingham, a professor of psychology, told Time magazine, "It's virtually impossible to become proficient at a mental task without extensive practice.. Your brain will literally change so that you can complete the task without thinking about it."(Redemption of the Tiger Mother, paragraph 56) Living under this tight schedule, the kids may feel stressful and tired due to the continue practicing on piano, violin.
The western parents think that kids should have fun in learning, where the Chinese tiger mother ‘ordered’ their kids to get straight A. The most important is, Western parents will care about their kids’ self-esteem, and assume they are fragile so tend to reassure them. However, the Chinese mothers do not worry about kids’ psyche, just expect them to be perfect. ( Science-mom, paragraph 9) It is believed that, children will be always depressed as they can’t meet their mothers’ expectation.
In my opinion, I appreciate the western parenting style more. Since nowadays, the teenager seems to be more fragile, where parents in Hong Kong do not spend enough time on understanding what their kids thinks. Although the teaching method of tiger mothers leads to success in some aspect, however, I suggest that parents should listen and care more about their children, so that our next generation can have an all-round well development, and also, have a nice memorable childhood.
We listed out the advantages and disadvantages of "Tiger Mother" because we have another view except support "Tiger Mother" or not.
We cannot say that "Tiger Mother" is the worst or best method to discipline children. It depends on your view on education. It is because the arguments of "Tiger Mother" like a battle between Chinese style family education and Western style family education. If we take a look on the result, both of them can teach children with good academic result. In facts, "Tiger Mother" can let our children be stronger in front of difficulties. Although it is tough for children, it can help them handle problem easily in the future.
Western style family education can let their children develop their abilities, not violin or piano only. It does not come with tough rules. Unfortunately, some children will become weak or afraid in front of difficulties and failure.
As a result, there are advantages and disadvantages on different style of education. We should choose the suitable one for children. Besides, we should stay with them and observe when they are growing up. It can help us make the best decision on discipline children.